I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
