watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
