Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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