this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Randomize
