you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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