I bet he comes in French.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
