I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
