His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
