Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
