i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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