Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
