shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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