Me too!
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Randomize
