Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Only a mothe r could love this liver
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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