i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
