you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Drunk is a universal language darling
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
