I am in a vortex of obligation.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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