highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
