I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
