Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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