He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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