I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
They have beer where we have blood.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
