I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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