Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
