I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
