Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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