I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
