You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize
