Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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