I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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