All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
