I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
