Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
