Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
i believe in u and ur pee
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
