I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
