i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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