Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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