scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
do herpes really smell.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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