this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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