butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
