I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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