I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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