I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
