oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
