I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
