come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
