The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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