3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
