you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
