So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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