Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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