she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
We had sex on a dog bed..
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
