dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
