there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
