Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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