it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
