so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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