Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
